Phil Villarreal
‘Star Wars: The Old Republic’ Is Losing Players Faster Than Skywalkers Lose Arms
Subscription-based MMOs have it rough — They’ve got to prove themselves worthy of your money month in or month out, or you’ll stop paying and playing, as will your friends. A game can go from a promising up-and-comer to a flat-lining invalid in a matter of weeks.
Nintendo Overlord Kicks Vita While It’s Down
Executives who work for gaming giants tend to speak in dull platitudes about the competition, so it’s always refreshing to see a suit not only take the gloves off, but pick one up and smack a rival in the face with it.
3.9 Million People Stopped Playing ‘Draw Something’ Last Month
We never quite got the pull of the mobile game Draw Something.
Xbox 360 Fails as Hiding Place For Cocaine
Think back to the last half of whatever the decade before this one was called. You loved your Xbox 360, but probably had to keep sending it back to the manufacturer because it kept crashing.
Looks Like You Won’t Be Playing ‘Rock Band’ On iOS After June
One new thing you get to learn today is that games can expire just like bread, milk and sex after marriage.
Forget Dogs, This Beer-Dispensing KegDroid Is Clearly Man’s Best Friend
Tablets are great and all, but one major, near-unforgivable way they’ve always fallen short is their inability to dispense beer. Finally, KegDroid — which lets you gush out brews via a Motorola Xoom — is here to fix that dreadful problem.
‘God of War: Ascension’ Will Stage a Multiplayer Orgy Of Blood
Like a dude using a laptop with his pants around his ankles, Kratos has always been known for doing his own thing. The rage-fueled Spartan has gotten his rocks off by slashing enemies into oblivion. Everyone onscreen, even innocent bystanders, were nothing but fleshy balloons to be popped into red level-up orbs. But his next game, God of War Ascension, will change all that.
Never Let Your Live-In Stripper Drive Your Mustang
If you’re rich and your girlfriend happens to be a stripper, it stands to reason that you impressed her by throwing your money around. Moderation is important in all aspects of life, though, especially when it comes to letting stripper girlfriends get behind expensive cars they can’t handle.
PS3 Players Finally Get Full ‘Mass Effect 3′ Multiplayer Lovin’
Being a PlayStation 3 owner who is obsessed with the Mass Effect series is a lot like being a lifelong Chicago Cubs fan who tortures himself by sitting through the World Series ever year. Not only did the original Mass Effect never hit the console, but Xbox 360 players have been getting a far superior version of Mass Effect 3′s multiplayer since the game came out in March.
Design Your Own ‘Portal 2′ Levels!
If you’ve romped your way through all the entirety of the deviously challenging Portal 2 and are hungry for more, there’s no sense in waiting around for Valve to make another game. Starting May 8, you’ll be able to deal with your Portal-ual frustration the same way you do your sexual frustration — by taking matters into your own hands.