Video: Actor James Van Der Beek Calls Out One of the Worst Things About Texas
He's not wrong.
Actor James Van Der Beek, famous for Dawson's Creek, The Rules of Attraction, Varsity Blues and a crapload of other friggin' awesome stuff, recently moved to Texas and took a few minutes to share a little insight into what it's like for an outsider to truly experience fire ants for the first time.
I forget they exist, honestly, because they've just always been around. Other places aren't quite as spicy in the ants department, I guess. Poor guy seems like he has really been struggling to come to terms with the pesky little biting a-holes.
My brother once sat on a pile of them while wearing a pair of shorts as a kid and they totally went to town on him. I still remember him crying. I also vaguely remember laughing at him for being so dumb and sitting there in the first place. I digress.
Yes, James, fire ants totally suck big time. They're truly a creature from the depths of hell, sent to torture Texans specifically. I have no idea what they're good for, but in my opinion, it's absolutely nothing.
Instead of protesting all of the weird politics going on in our state right now, I vote that we turn our attention to eradicating that entire species of ants, once and for all, especially now that they've tried to scare away my favorite actor of all time.
Here's hoping that Van Der Beek finds some anti-itch ointment and ant killer on the hurry-up.
Check out James' video below: