I really hope we're not being r/insaneparents but please comment if you think we are.

Our daughter is in college right now and in her second year. My husband and I are paying for a portion of it and give her a monthly allowance of $1000 to help out because her school is out of state. So far it's been roughly 50% on us and 50% she needs to get grants or bursaries or loans for. She is choosing not to work right now and instead relying on the $1000 we send (her rent is around $200 for her room and the $800 remaining is up to her how to use).

We want to cut her off not because there was some incident but because she's basically ghosted us. Nothing really prompted this. My last conversation with her was very cordial standard fare back in early September. Likewise for my husband. We used to talk a lot, text every day, etc.

We send her a Facebook message and get a read receipt but no response. No thank you for the money we send monthly, no happy Thanksgiving (or birthday, mine was in October), nothing. At the very least we'd like to know she's okay, and we've expressed as much, but the outcome is always the same: left on read.

We have one of her best friends on Facebook and we asked her what's up and she said she's doing fine, just busy with school. And that's fine, but not even a single message in 3 months?

I sent her a message two days ago that we feel taken advantage of and that our contribution to her schooling is unappreciated. We told her that next tuition payment is due end of December and we want to hear from her before we pay it. Read within seconds but no response.

I don't know what to make of this. Are we being the assholes? Just a check in every once in a while is enough, we just have no idea what's going on.

There are 5 options for judgement:

  • YTA - You're the A-hole
  • NTA - Not the A-hole, the other person is
  • ESH - Everyone sucks here
  • NAH - No A-hols here
  • INFO - More info needed

On the MoSho, we came to the conclusion the parents are not the A-hole, and the daughter has some explaining to do.

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