Have you ever heard the term “single issue voter”? It means someone who will vote for a candidate based solely on how they stand on one particular issue. There are abortion single-issue voters, 2nd Amendment single-issuers…really, anything people feel especially passionate about.

I feel like I could be a single issue voter if I could find a candidate who supports any of my main three issues. Unfortunately, I can’t find my dream candidate. He or she would only have to be very strong on just ONE of the issues I really care about. Here they are…

  • 1.) The 4 Day Workweek

That extra day I got to take off for Labor Day really re-energized me. It’s something I could get used to permanently. I know it might SOUND unlikely that we, as a society, would ever eliminate a day of work per week. Until you realize we actually DID exactly that and it was less than a hundred years ago. Previous to that, most people worked six days a week, Monday thru Saturday. This was very standard and it would be unusual to find people who got TWO WHOLE DAYS off each week. That changed in 1926 when Henry Ford started closing his factories on Saturday and Sunday…AND, he didn’t reduce his worker’s pay. Over the next fifteen years the rest of American employers followed suit which was remarkably fast considering that the 6 day work-week had been standard since…forever.

We need a modern day Henry Ford (preferably without the virulent anti-Semitism). A bold, adventurous leader who will give his or her workers a 3 day weekend and then everyone else will have to follow suit or risk looking like a miserly bastard.

  • 2.) Requiring Wing Restaurants to Put Bottles of Ranch on the Tables

Different restaurants have different policies about how much ranch you get when you order Buffalo wings. Hooters gives you one, tiny little 3 ounce container of ranch dressing for 15 wings. No reasonable person thinks that is anywhere near enough! If you decide you need more ranch they’ll upcharge you by a buck to a buck fifty. I think we have for too long had to try and stretch our meager allotment of ranch. I say “no more”! Is it too much to ask for enough ranch so that each wing in your order gets at least a good dip? This is why I pledge to support any candidate of any party who will put an end to this tyranny by Big Wing.

  • 3.) Construction Sites Must Clearly Say What is Being Constructed

As a case in point: for the past six months, every time I drive home I would see construction on a big building. If you live on my side of town, it’s the project next to the AMC theatre right next to the West Side Cracker Barrel. This site was large and, as the construction went on it looked like a fairly sizeable structure was being built. But what could it be? Every day my mind would race imagining the possibilities. Could it be a West side Dave & Busters? The HEB I’ve been hearing about? Or maybe the long-rumored Cheesecake Factory that has tantalized our city for decades??

None of the above. It turns out it’s just a really big children’s dentist office. Doesn’t that just grind your gears? You see construction that could turn out to be any number of cool things…and it ends up being the fifth mattress store in a one mile radius or a massive customer service call center. They should be required…BY LAW…to clearly post what is going in so we don’t get our hopes up thinking it’s an Trader Joe’s and it turns out to be a behavioral health center or some such crap.

So, come on politicians! Pander to me for a change, why don’t you??

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