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Here’s My Grandma’s Recipe for Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Turkey

The venerable Thanksgiving turkey has seen a few variations in the past couple of decades. In the 1990s, we saw the rise of the Turducken: a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. The 2000s saw a sizable fad for putting the turkey into a deep fryer. And for many years, there’s been the Tofurky, the turkey made out of tofu for those who hate America and all she stands for.

When I was a youngster, we had Thanksgiving at my Grandma’s house and it was very traditional. Pumpkin Pie on the table, the Dallas Cowboys on TV and, of course, the Texas people in my family would bring about two dozen 12-packs of Dr. Pepper.

But the best part was my grandma’s traditional recipe, passed down through the generations, for Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Encrusted Turkey. It was like a Norman Rockwell painting that Rockwell had died halfway through and Salvador Dali and Jackson Pollock had then taken turns completing. It is this time-honored and closely-guarded recipe that I would like to share with you today.

OK, I’m lying. We didn’t have Flamin’ Hot Cheeto Turkey. We didn’t even have Flamin’ Hot Cheetos back then. But the Reynolds people (of “Wrap” fame) did come up with it.

WARNING: This thing could really catch on and there might be a run on Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. You should probably go to 7-11 right now and buy every bag they have.

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