Video has surfaced of a fresh-faced feathered-haired Ted Cruz talking about his dreams in life. Cruz was 18 years old at the time and a senior in High School.

A couple of highlights include Ted pretending to confuse "aspirations" for "perspiration" ( "you mean, like the sweat off my butt") and Ted expressing his desire to be in "a teenage tit film" like Malibu Bikini Beach Shop.

Ted Cruz is soooo close, you guys, to achieving his dream. The one about world domination, not the one about the tit films.