Stone Sour guitarist Josh Rand has given his first interview since exiting rehab earlier this year. Talking with The Lazer 103.3, Rand reveals he was on Xanax for eight years without anybody else knowing.

In January, Rand stepped away from the Canadian leg of Stone Sour’s tour so he could get help with alcohol and Xanax abuse. Though he’s still a self-professed “work in progress,” Rand says his recovery is going well.

“I just had decided that I needed some help dealing with stuff. Really it’s been stuff that I’ve been dealing with—well one thing for a very long time, which surprised people. Nobody had any idea about it. I was basically… on Xanax for like eight years and nobody knew at all,” Rand tells The Lazer.

The guitarist continues, “And then over the course of the last couple years I started drinking and when we started touring, I was basically day-drinking. But not drinking to get messed up, but just to maintain, I guess. Or to be able to cope, to have this buzz. All that stuff started spiraling for me as we were touring. I just felt horrible and miserable and it really all came to a head for me on Shiprocked. We were flying from Florida back up to Canada and basically we were in the airport and I just had the made the decision that I had to come home.” [via The PRP]

Rand assures that his Stone Sour bandmates were completely supportive of his decision to seek help. As for Rand’s return to Stone Sour, that’s still up in the air, as the guitarist confirmed Corey Taylor will make Slipknot his priority come 2019.

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