Trump’s SOTU Speech in Only 3 Minutes

Hey, did you hear? Opamacare is officially over!

For the edit of the SOTU I went with that great bastion of far-left bias The Wall Street Journal (for you Breitbart readers that’s #sarcasm).

Quickly, here are a few of my notes I jotted down while watching the State of the Union last night:

• Melania was wearing a white pantsuit. I seem to remember last year at his speech, many of the female senators were wearing white as a protest against Trump’s attitudes and policies toward women. Oh, here it is!
• It had its own hashtag and everythingThis goes to a theory that I have that Melania is actually sending out many secret messages expressing her horror at being married to this buffoon. It could be a coincidence I guess. But remember that she chose as her “first lady cause” the issue of internet bullying. Internet. Bullying. She’s married to the biggest bully on Twitter. That can’t just be coincidence, can it? Melania…blink twice if you need a rescue team.
• The president’s hair was looking especially ridiculous last night.
• Trump touted that the “war on clean, beautiful coal” is over. Is there a new kind of coal that I haven’t heard about? I still haven’t ever heard a miner say, “30 years in the mines and what do I have to show for it? Beautiful Clean Lung disease.”
• Trump pleaded that we put aside our divisions and pettiness. This from the most divisive and petty man to ever hold the office.
• How bad must Trump have been craving a cheeseburger and Diet Coke by the time this was over?
• Opama Care?