A British millionaire accused in the sexual assault of an 18-year-old claims that he didn't rape the girl, but that he accidentally fell and penetrated her. Sure. Because vaginas are like ditches.

Forty-six-year-old Ehsan Abdulaziz, a property developer and seemingly terrible liar, is accused of sexually assaulting the girl while she slept on the couch of his London home. According to police, Abdulaziz met the girl the night of the alleged assault at a London nightclub. Police said the girl was at the club with a friend, who knew Abdulaziz.

Police said Abdulaziz offered to give the women a ride home in his Aston Martin and swung by his house to have a drink on the way. The Telegraph reported that the victim went to sleep on the couch after Abudalziz disappeared into his bedroom with her friend for sex.

Police said the victim later woke to Abudalziz on top of her, forcing himself on her. When she asked him what he was doing he said, "It's fine."

The woman said she panicked and ran to the bedroom and tried to wake her friend. When her friend wouldn't wake up, she called police.

Police said Abdulaziz told officers that he woke up around 5:30 a.m. and went to get a glass of water and turn off the TV. He initially told police that the victim pulled him onto her and placed his hand between her legs. He said she became angry when he offered to call her a taxi, and she stormed into the bedroom to wake her friend.

According to court documents, Abdulaziz changed his story when traces of his semen were found during DNA testing. He then said that he went into the living room after having sex with the victim's friend and that his penis was still erect. He he lost his balance, falling on top of the woman and accidentally penetrating her. Totally believable story, bro.

The trial is ongoing.

[via The Telegraph]