Can Your Dentist Tell If You’ve Gotten A Mouthful Down Under?
Can your dentist tell if you've been south of the border on your man recently? It sounds crazy, but it may be true. That teeth cleaning just got awkward. Dentists may know more about your sex life than you realize.
When you're laying there with your mouth wide open, you have to wonder how much your dentist knows about your life from just seeing the inside of your mouth. When I was visiting a friend over the weekend, the two of us were talking about some of our old college buddies who had just begun their careers. One of them just started a new job as a dentist here in Texas and our mutual friend went to get her teeth cleaned and catch up. The two women started talking about her time in school when she offhandedly mentioned, "Oh, did you know we can tell if you've gone down on a guy recently? Yeah, surprise!"
Understandably, the girl getting her teeth cleaned was shocked, confused and maybe even embarrassed depending on how busy her social life has been recently. She wasn't exactly sure if she believed this statement but was now asking me since, hey, I'm in radio and enjoy researching strange rumors and hear weird news stories all the time. Lucky for my friend, I had just heard a story about this the week prior from the BMJ Case Reports. The journal published a story on June 11th about a 47 year-old man who went to the dentist for a routine check-up and baffled dentists with a strange red mark on the roof of his mouth. The man said he wasn't aware he had the mark and didn't feel any discomfort from the lesion.
After questioning the patient dentists decided the red mark, known as a erythema, was most likely caused by slobbin' on a knob. Like corn on a cob, according to the great poets Three 6 Mafia. The man admitted that he had been smoking the pole of another man just 3 days before his visit to the dentist. He also admitted to smoking marijuana and using cocaine because if you're already admitting to getting to third base with a dude, why not? According to the medics, the injury was caused by "the contact of the palate with the penile glands may cause a haematoma due to blunt trauma and dilatation of the blood vessels because of the negative pressure created while sucking."
The journal also stressed that more dentists should be aware of the possible bruising that could be left behind from performing the sex act. The man's mouth "injury" also went away in less than a week thankfully, so hopefully your dentist can't tell if you've been servicing someone over a week ago. If you have a bruise passed an entire week, we're really happy for you and your man.